Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Greetings of the "Season"

For my Democrat friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally sensitive, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, or with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or your choice to not practice religious or secular traditions at all, if you so choose.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. This is not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And is further offered without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable without alteration of the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes by himself or others, is void where prohibited or regulated by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected as a commerically acceptable expectation of good tidings for a period of no more than one year or until the issuance of a subsequent or replacement holiday greeting, whichever occurs first. Your only right under this warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For the rest of my friends:
"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year"

Holiday Cheers and a h/t to JAMES JOHNSON


Bill said...

I will pardon the Faulty Syllogism in the light of the fact that it is the season of Christ's Birthday, but not all Liberals/democrats are politically correct. Some of us democrat leaning liberal WASP's actually celebrate Christmas.

Merry Christmas 49erdweet :-)

49erDweet said...

bill, I totally agree with you. That's one reason I didn't add the word "Liberals/" to "Democrats" in the title, but I suppose that cut too fine a line and was pretty well universally understood to refer to both. I probably should have also added the modifier "Most" or maybe "Some" to the title, because that would be far more accurate.

But I didn't, so I accept your "rod of chastisement" in the manner in which it was offered. Happiest of Christmases and pleasantest of New Years to you and Michelle.